1. My Other Hat
2. Introduction
3. What are you thinking?
4. Is it a disability?
5. Look at all it takes
6. Say OUCH
7. Observe
8. Understand
9. Change
10. Help
11. Heartbreak Graph
12. Strategies
13. Resources
14. Download complete article (pdf)

Strategies

Conventional ways (good and bad) to get children to behave include:

• Rules – “No hitting”
• Modeling – “I’m SO mad! I’m taking some deep breaths to calm down!”
• Reasoning – “Hitting hurts. Sam likes playing with you if you don’t hit.”
• Encouragement – “I see you using your self control, Abdul.”
• Praise – “I am so proud of you when you take a break instead of hitting.”
• Rewards – “That’s a whole day with no hitting. You can choose a sticker!”
• Consequences – “When you hit, you have to leave the group.”
• Threats – “If you keep hitting, you’ll be in big trouble!”
• Punishment – “I’m taking away that truck because you hit Remi.”

These conventional approaches don’t take into account potentially huge differences in skills, experience and temperament. Conventional approaches will work ONLY if the child has at least SOME ability to perform the required task at least SOME of the time. As an obvious analogy, punishing (or offering a reward to) a blind child will NOT change the child's inability to identify colors!

Alternative Interventions:

• Prevent negative behaviors - modify the environment, schedule, staffing & activities to keep everyone safe
• Directly teach & reinforce preferred behaviors and social skills - most kids "absorb" these skills; some kids need to be taught step-by-step
• Teach self-monitoring and self-regulation (e.g. energy level, feelings, taking breaks,
• breathing, relaxation)
• Provide alternative strategies
• Collaborate with the family - work as a team, develop strong, proactive communication skills and habits
• Explore therapy, diet & medications with help from well trained, child-oriented professionals