Limericks Spoken! 2009

• There once was a boy from Japan

  Who karate-chopped like Peter Pan

  He could fly in the air

  With his very long hair

  But then he got hit by a pan

  -- Hidetaka

• There once was a cunning old hog

  Who wanted to own his own bog

  So he went to law school

  ’til he started to drool

  Then he turned as sick as a dog

  -- Savannah

• My old dog was as pale as death

  His beautiful name was Seth

  He licked a clock

  Smelt a sock

  And then went to see MacBeth

  -- Alexis

• There was was a black-as-night rose

  That a princess greatly desired for her pose

  She called on a knight

  To tell him her plight

  But if she got the rose no one knows

  -- Alexandra

• There once was a fat platypus

  Whose friends all called him a wuss

  He got as flat as a mat

  And saw a very cute cat

  Then he married the puss

  -- Savannah

• There once was a cute little dog

  Who loved to sleep like a log

  Once he woke up

  That cute little pup

  He started to jump like a frog

  -- Ashlee

• There once was a man from Redding

  Who went to a great big wedding

  On his way back to his house

  He stumbled across a mouse

  Who started eating the icing (and lettering)

  -- Chris

• There once was an old man named Bill

  Who sat on the top of the hill

  It made him insane

  When it started to rain

  Perhaps he could use a chill pill

  -- CJ

• There once was a boy named Tim

  (And) he was very slim

  He liked to play in pools

  But they were haunted by ghouls

  Who very much liked to swim

  -- Emmitt

• There once was a woman named Sam

  And she loved honey-smoked ham

  She was really big

  As fat as a pig

  So she's changed her name to Pam

  -- Alea

• One day I went to the zoo

  And I met a big snake from Peru

  So I took him to my house

  But he accidentally ate a mouse

  And then he became addicted to my kazoo

  -- Eva

• There once was a guy named Brock

  He was as solid as a rock

  He got in a fight

  And won the same night

  And then he turned into a hawk

  -- Jada

• A man fell in a smelly bog

  So he washed his hair in fog

  But he smelled of balloons

  He was as crazy as a loon

  So he got a big smelly dog

  -- Alea

• One day my brother found a star

  He was bored so he dipped it in tar

  Late at night he awoke

  And he smelled like smoke

  He was so ashamed he went afar

  -- Eva

• There once was a man named Sam

  He enjoyed the taste of ham

  He saw it sizzle

  Whoa, for shizzle

  And so does his girlfriend Pam

  -- Jada

• There once was a very fat cat

  He found a plant that liked to chat

  There was a land with ham

  There was also a small dam

  That very fat cat turned into a rat

  -- Brian

• Julian was as stiff as a carrot

  He could never get a parrot

  He tried and tried

  But always told a lie

  Julian could never get a ferret

  -- Evelyn

• There once was a boy named Harry

  He was as clumsy as Larry

  He was so tired

  And man he was desired

  And he wanted a toy named Barry

  -- Jada

• There once was a cute little bug

  Who lived in a marvelous jug

  It was as light as a feather

  And kept out all the bad weather

  which caused the cute little bug to be very snug

  -- Alayna

• There once was a lonely fish

  He liked to eat pizza from a dish

  He ate so much

  That he couldn't touch

  His toes even if he'd wish

  -- Dylan

• There once was a monkey who belonged to a man

  And it was holding a hot frying pan

  He let out a squeal

  Like a crocodile's meal

  That monkey had burned his hand

  -- James

• There once was a very selfish cat

  Who capture a very huge rat

  He refused to share

  Which wasn't very fair

  Which in the end made him very very fat

  -- Alayna

• There once was a dragon named Ching

  Who wants to say Ching Ling

  He asked the bard

  To play a card

  At the studio Sing Bing

  -- Gabe

• There once was a little black dog

  Who always croaked like a frog

  His owner was weird

  ’Cause he had a green beard

  Until they both went out for a jog

  -- James

• There once was a really big guy

  Who was so fat he could die

  He went to Jenny Craig

  He ate scrambled eggs

  And now it's cool he can fly

  -- Sam

• There once was a person named Bill

  Who dreamed he forgot his pill

  He started to kil

  Because he was ill

  so the doctor gave him his fill

  -- Jordan

• There once was a big rock

  That always tries to really talk

  His mom held his hand

  Then he joined a marching band

  And he got stuck with a rock

  -- Kayla

• There once was a boy named Tim

  Who had a good friend named Jim

  Who got really dumb

  And smelled like a plum

  And now his friend is at the gym

  -- Kobe

• I have a dog named Roxy

  She is very very foxy

  Her bark is a mumble

  She is always in troumble

  She is a very cute boxy

  -- Nic

• There once was a girl who made origami

  Who smelled like pastrami

  No one would buy it

  But someone would try it

  Then she said, “Oh woe is me!”

  -- Ally

• There once was a very fun fox

  That was a strong as an ox

  He loved chips

  So he put them to his lips

  And accidentally ate the whole box

  -- Maddie

• There once was a man from Eugene

  Who had something stuck in his spleen

  He was as dumb as a post

  But cooler than most

  Turns out that it was a bean

  -- Ryan

• There once was a guy named Tommy

  Who always wanted a hobby

  So he went to his dad

  Then got very sad

  And felt like he'll go to his mommy.

  -- Vyvian

• The cat was as fat as a pig

  The cat was as fat as a wig

  The cat was sleepy

  The cat slept happily

  When the cat woke it was a pig

  -- Monica

• Gidget LaRue went to the zoo

  Until one scary day something went "Boo!"

  So she got out of the way

  That very bad day

  And headed for blue Peru

  -- Ryann

• Some gum was stuck under a chair

  Until it grew green hair

  It was gross like mold

  But then it was told

  The green hair was wonderful to wear

  -- Sydney

• There once was somebody named Bill

  Who needed to take his pill

  His face got big

  And if he didn't dig

  He'd get ill and start to kill.

  -- Taylor Br.

• The carpet was sad as dirt

  Because people kept spilling dessert

  It was stained and smashed

  And vacuumed and splashed

  Until it looked like my forty-seven year old shirt

  -- Sydney

• There once was a fat bug

  Who was as slow as a slug

  His butt was big

  And started to jig

  But then he fell in a big jug

  -- Taylor Br.

• We had a very funny cat

  Who ate a nasty old bat

  He is sick in his bed

  Now the vet has said

  Mr. cat is now very fat

  -- Taylor Be.

• There was an old teacher

  Whose name was Miss Creature

  She was gentle as a lamb

  And had a dog named Sam

  For a teacher she was a great preacher

  -- Taylor Be.